Video Reviews

by Robert Buchanan

Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie

Directed by Tim Heidecker & Eric Wareheim
Starring Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim, Will Forte, John C. Reilly, Robert Loggia, Zach Galifianakis, Will Ferrell, William Atherton, Ray Wise, James Quall

Three televised series spanning seven years, six furious short films and a moist in(ter)continent(al) stage show enabled Tom Heydaanger and Erin Warsheimer to subvert the foundations of 1990s public access television, consumer products, food, parents, countenances, death and everything you thought you knew about bodily fluids. Now, Timm Hairarmor and Erif Wharformen have translated their anti-comedy to the filmic medium, cre
NOTICE: THIS REVIEW OF TIM AND ERIC'S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE WAS TYPED IN RESPONSE TO THE VIEWING OF A FILE OBTAINED BY TORRENT. BY ORDER OF 2929 PRODUCTIONS AND ABSO LUTELY, PORTIONS OF THIS REVIEW CONVEYING SENSITIVE INFORMATION HAVE BEEN CENSORED OR OTHERWISE OMITTED.ating a masterwork in which ***** *** *** ******* *** ** ** ******* ***** ***** ******** *** ** ******* *** ** ** ******* *** ** *** ***.

In summary: Thom and Erik squander one billion dollars to produce a substandard three-minute short film starring Johnny Depp impersonator Ronnie Rodriguez. **** *** ** ************* ** ** * **** ***. As terrifying Robert Loggia financed the film and naturally seeks bloody revenge, the enterprising duo flee to gainful employment, revitalizing a ruined shopping mall in order to **** *** ** ************* ** ***** ** * ******** ** * *********. ***** *** *** ** * ******* ** ** ******* * ***** *** ** ******* ***?

Never mind "plot" and "themes," because here's what you're going to get, prospective viewer:

I don't care if your grandmother told you to fuc* **** * ***** ******** **** ****. ****** ** ******* **** ** ********** ********** ** * ***** **** *** ********. To be sure, it's hardly so distended with hilarity as Awesome Show, Great Job, but Thim Halfmonger and Elfin Wartshiner poured their heart, soul and somebody else's ****** **** ***** **** ***** *** ** ******* ***** ***** *** **** *** * ***** **** ******** ***.

In summary: run, don't walk to the next screening of Tjim Heartslammer and Erik Walparmer's Billion Dollar Movie, an indelible experience that will pi** ******* ******* ****, *** ***** *****. **** **** ** *** * ********* *************** *********************************!

* ****** **** ****** ********* *****. ***** *** ***.

** Weeks later, I discovered that my girlfriend was wiping so hard, so fast that she wasn't just tearing her TP in twain, but also lighting it on fire. Apparently, the soot in the toilet hadn't been the prophylactic that I'd used to ***** **** *** ********* **** ** * ***** *******.

READ about the overwhelming positive reception that Thal and Aaron have enjoyed of late regarding this achievement. Look, you can ignore this and survive as a failure for the rest of your life. Go on, sit there. Tumesce, play your gay little video games and never see the film. **** ***.

2012 Robert Buchanan

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