Diary of a Sex Addict (2001)

Directed by Joseph Brutsman
Written by Tony Peck, Joseph Brutsman
Produced by Mark Burg, Glenn S. Gainor, Oren Koules, Tony Peck, Lyndall Hobbs, Dave Duce, Boaz Davidson, Danny Dimbort, Avi Lerner, Trevor Short
Starring Michael Des Barres, Rosanna Arquette, Nastassja Kinski, Joey House, Eva Jenickova, Troy Winbush, Alexandra Paul, Aviva Gale, Rachelle Carson-Begley, Daniella Rich, Cole Sprouse, Dylan Sprouse, Ed Begley Jr., Terri Apple, Adrienne Janic, Tangie Ambrose, Anna de Cardi, Maria del Mar, Heidi Jo Markel, Jimmy Flynt, M.C. Gainey, T.C. Warner, A.J. Benza, Simona Williams, Shannan Leigh, Shirly Brener, Nancy Linehan Charles

“Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.”

–Hunter S. Thompson

Synopsis

As penitent to shrift father, an incessantly erotomaniacal master chef, restaurateur, and devoted family man (Des Barres) confesses to his new psychotherapist (Kinski) of recent misadventures involving patronization of a peep show and a strip club, an altercation with a cinema’s ticket taker (Winbush), his telephonic vulgarities directed at an innocent woman (Williams), and frenzied fornication with a nurse (Carson-Begley), a salesgirl (Janic) of lingerie, the aforementioned strip club’s bartender (Apple), a cook (Gale) of his restaurant, his sister-in-law (Paul), and a parade of weathered wenches (Jenickova, House, Ambrose, Leigh, et aliae). When this aging rakehell isn’t dick-deep in cyprian quim, he delights in wholesome hobbies with his mutually adoring wife (Arquette) and son (Sprouse twins), but a few harrowing scrapes portend an end to the lucky streak for which these lifestyles have coexisted.

Script

Their script plays like softcore porn were it written for community theater, but in all fairness, Peck’s and Brutsman’s dialogue is hilarious in intentional and unintentional variation. Lascivious behavior and its consequences are supererogatorily portrayed and analyzed, but neither the video’s runtime nor the interest of goatish, middle-aged Boomers to whom it was marketed admit of psychological causation.

Cinematography

Evidently, DP Nathan Hope couldn’t or didn’t care to remedy the flat, dull, cheap appearance of Diary‘s relatively early HD video, essentially shot on a high-grade camcorder. Richard Cassel’s cool coloration compounds the hideosity of some scenes.

Editing

Given the material at his disposal, one could almost forgive Greg Tillman for his overabounding jump and smash cuts, and contradictory continuity, but the editor’s sequential fast dissolves are intolerable.

Histrionics

Similarly, Brutsman’s cast acquitted themselves surprisingly well for the lubricous bosh with which they were encumbered; that everyone kept a straight face is itself extraordinary. Leathery, expatriated Anglo-Angeleno Des Barres created his compulsive rip with furious feistiness and unexpected charm, and Kinski’s staid, passive-aggressive counterpoise is as apropos as symptomatic of ex-whore’s syndrome. All of the trollops are played into the stratosphere as cuckoo caricatures, but their john’s warmhearted wife and family doctor are serviceably plausible by Arquette’s and Begley’s exclusive sedation. Televised parasite A.J. Benza stiffly misrecites his few lines in the part of a vice detective.

Highlights

  • All of Des Barre’s filthy, clamorous couplings and crank calls are hysterical.
  • An interview of the concupiscent chef conducted by a local news reporter (Markel) is calamitously curtailed before his nutty flirtation with her.

Flaws

  • Every shot looks terrible.
  • A subplot wherein Winbush’s disemployed tough stalks our prurient protagonist yields a few funny moments, but it’s only filler.
  • Glimpses of the cheffy stallion’s underwhelming visits with his infirm, uncommunicative mother (Charles) also amount to naught.

Conclusion

To no surprise for anyone who noticed Davidson and Lerner among its producers, this umpteenth erotic drama shot and issued on shiteo is by no means the worst or most audacious of its kind, but it’s one of the funniest.

For whoever can stomach them, recommended for a (venereally vomitous) double feature paired with Virtual Desire or Private Obsession.

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